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Help me evaluate my options for affording college?

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Hello all, I'm looking over my options for financing college, and as per usual it seems I'm realizing I can't afford it too late in the game. I'm looking to attend UMass Amherst. It looks like it's going to require me to take out a ~$20,000 private loan this year, and potentially less (not more) in future years. The rest is through some scholarships (I didn't get many) and $5,500 Stafford. It looks like, if I get a job in school and pay off interest and (if possible) some of the principle, I'd be paying a total in the range of $35,000. Over 4 years this comes to 140,000. This goes past all warnings about not getting more in-debt than starting salary (with a computer engineering major I'd be looking at maybe a $60,000 starting salary?). So, I'm trying to evaluate my options. I'm pretty certain that taking a year off is almost necessary at this point in time, to save up money, and reduce potential future costs. So first off, at this point in the game (I've accepted the deposit) is there any option with UMass to defer for a year? Given that I'm in the honors program, would I be able to defer and remain in that program? If I took a year off, I could save up money, maybe get some gen-ed credits at my community college, and work on building up a positive credit score. This would reduce future money I'd have to borrow, potentially reduce interest rates on private loans, and I might be able to get more scholarships if I work on my qualifications and whatnot. If I didn't take a year off, I couldn't save up money, but could put all money I earn towards the interest and principle each month, potentially lowering what I need to pay. I'm looking into the possibility to take some of my gen-eds at community college during this summer (not sure if it's too late for that), if not I could potentially do that next summer. I could still build up a positive credit score, and get more scholarships for my sophomore year. I would likely be able to build much better qualifications for scholarships while in school. Final option I'm considering is the military. I've looked around, and it seems like the National Guard has the greatest potential for financially assisting me while not requiring a huge amount of time invested. I'm awaiting a response from a recruiter to assess this option. Does anyone have any better routes through the military that could help me? I'd really rather avoid spending time out of college and with the military, but if it can't be helped then there's no choice. What do you guys think of the options I'm considering? Are there any others that could benefit me more? Another issue I have is my parents. They keep telling me not to worry about finances, and that my major will allow me to pay off the debt. They're also vehemently against me taking a year off and/or joining the military. I believed them, but now that I'm going over terms for private loans and seeing what I'd be paying, I'm starting to doubt what they've said. If taking a year off and/or joining the military ends up being my best choice, how might I go about telling them? I'd hate to leave on bad terms. That's quite a lot of questions, so any input on any aspect of this wall of text will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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